Babysitting with the Hardyz
by I.Dream.Of.Hardyz
Summary: When Amy, Beth, & a friend decide they need a girl's night out, their friend needs a babysitter for her baby. Amy suggests Matt and Jeff. The boys think it will be simple, how much damage can a two-year-old do anyway? They're in for a biiiiig surprise...
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

**A/N:** I couldn't help it. I really couldn't. Come on, the idea is adorable! The guys and gals will be pretty young in this for obvious reasons. Say mid-20s. Well... this will be a two or three-shot. Probably three. Read, alert, and review! Enjoy! ;)

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"Somehow, I don't think this is the best idea, Amy," Beth Britt said doubtfully as she set down a two-year-old girl down from her arms. The blonde-haired daughter of her friend Robin instantly bolted for the nearest high object and began to climb it.

"Why not?" Amy Dumas asked. "Robin doesn't seem to care that Matt and Jeff are watching her kid. I doubt Becca does either."

"That's because Becca is barely two," Beth responded. "A girl's day out doesn't seem too safe. Robin obviously doesn't seem to see the trouble the boys can get into on their own. How are they going to baby-sit for a kid when they're barely adults themselves?"

Robin came in the room then, a long time friend of Beth Britt. "Oh hush!" she instantly said. "They boys will be fine. Consider it training for when you guys have some of your own." Robin snickered. "By the way… when will that be?"

Both Amy and Beth scowled and grabbed their bags. "Becca, hunny," Robin said while smiling slyly. "Come give mama a hug bye-bye."

The blue eyed toddler instantly stopped climbing the couch and ran toward her mother on her little legs. "Bye-bye momma," the little girl crowed happily.

"Will you be a good girl for Uncle Matt and Uncle Jeff?" Robin asked.

Becca smiled widely. "Yes Momma."

"See?" Robin asked. "No issues at all. Where are those two handsome men anyway?"

Beth sighed. "See?" she breathed out. "They're supposed to be babysitting and they're no where in sight! MATT! JEFF! Get your as—butts in here!"

There was the sound of obnoxious laughter, followed by the rowdy noise of two men rumbling down the stairs. "We're here!" Jeff announced with a grin. "How can we help you ladies?"

"You're babysitting," Beth said flatly as Matt bounded in after Jeff. "Did you two men forget this fact?"

Matt and Jeff exchanged a look. "No," Matt finally said slowly. "Where is the little Rugrat?" Before anyone could answer, two-year-old Becca wrapped her little arms around Matt's legs. "Ah… there you are." He smiled weakly.

"We'll be back in a couple of hours," Amy said calmly. "Just make sure you feed her and check her diaper every-so-often. Okay?"

"Right," Jeff answered for Matt. "We'll be fine. Go do that girly stuff you girls do."

Beth looked tensely at Jeff and then slowly followed Robin and Amy out of the house. Maybe she should have more faith in her man. After all, they were adults, right? The two of them could take care of one two-year-old. She needed to have more faith. They may be immature at times, but they weren't complete morons… right?

-o-o-o-o-o-

Ten minutes later, both Jeff and Matt were watching in awe as Becca ran in circles around a table, her stature never wavering once. "Damn," Jeff whistled. "Why doesn't she get tired?"

"Think she's drunk?" Matt suggested.

Jeff grinned at Matt's humor. "She is Robin's daughter," he snickered. "It's quite possible."

"God… the girl can move." He paused, looking at the clock. Then, he sat down on the couch and put his feet up. "Five more minutes of this and she'll sleep like a baby soon enough. I say we got ourselves an easy job today, Jeffrey."

Jeff sat too, while Becca decided to run around another round object, a smile the size of the Grand Canyon on her face. "I do agree, Matthew. And to think… Beth doesn't think I'm responsible enough to have kids. This is so easy!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

**A/N:** Whoa, SO sorry for the wait of this chapter. Would you believe I forgot I started writing this? Haha. Uhm... well, this is the second to last chapter, cuz it's a three-shot and all. And man, I love torturing the boys, haha. Enjoy! ;)

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About five minutes later, Jeff stared in disbelief again, but this time not for a good reason. Becca was seated on the floor, her eyes wide and her mouth wailing. Her little fists thumped on the floor, the sound enough to alert someone from a good five miles away. "Becca," Matt tried again, trying to get the little girl's attention for the five time. "C'mon kid, I gotta check your diaper!"

At the sound of this, Becca wailed louder. "Stop saying that!" Jeff snapped at Matt. "I value my hearing!"

Matt glared back at Jeff. "What the fuck do you want me to do?" he yelled. "I need to check her damn diaper and the kid is causin' World War Three on her very damn own!"

"Stop cursing! The fucking kid can understand you!" Matt smirked, seeing how Jeff had just dropped the f-bomb.

And like she planned it, the little girl immediately stopped wailing and stared at Jeff with curiosity. "Fu-CK," she sounded out, pleased with herself. Then, as she realized she repeated the word Jeff had said, she cheered the word. "FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!!"

Matt had to laugh. "Good going, Jeffrey."

The younger Hardy scowled. "Great. Just f-freakin' great." He looked around. "Get the D-I-A-P-E-R and I'll get the potty mouth. We'll hold her down and put it on, kay?"

This seemed simple enough. As Matt went into the kitchen, Jeff kneeled down at the pleased toddler who had begun to suck on her fingers. "Hey Becca," he chirped. "Wanna see something cool?"

Becca grinned with her tiny little teeth. "COOOOOOOOL!" she howled, clapping her hands. "Ucka 'Reffy! COOLL!"

"I guess that's a yes," Jeff mused. Sure, they had one or two little mishaps but it seemed to be looking up. It couldn't take too much to trick at two-year-old into changing her diaper, right? He picked the little girl up, who was still clapping and brought her into the kitchen. Matt had set up a spot on the tiles with a towel and some baby wipes. "Do _not_ say the word," Jeff warned.

"Get put the kid down," Matt responded with a roll of his eyes.

Jeff did so and Becca stared up at them with distrust in her eyes. Then, the little eyes saw the wipes and promptly began squirming as she realized what was happening. "NO COOL!" she cried. "NO COOL!"

"Look, man, she's Carlito."

Matt scowled. "Hold her still. It's kind of fuc—freaking hard to take the diaper off when she's wailing like that."

Jeff smiled and placed one hand on her tiny little legs. "Have fun with that, Matthew."

For a second, Matt stared at Jeff like he didn't understand, but as the odor reached his nose, it finally set in. "Oh gross," he moaned, covering his nose. "Shit."

"Exactly," Jeff crowed.

"You're this close to meeting it personally," Matt started, yet suddenly he felt something warm on his shirt. "WHAT THE HELL! JEFF, SHE'S PISSIN' ON ME! I THOUGHT ONLY BOYS DID THAT!"

"She really likes you, Uncle Matthew." Jeff smirked heavily.

As if she were a water gun, Matt shifted the gleeful looking Becca and sprayed him with the "lovely" liquid. Jeff dropped her legs like she was on fire and ran from the spraying, coughing and sputtering. "YOU ASSHOLE!" Jeff barked.

"Aww, what's the matter, Uncle Jeffrey, don't like it when it happens to you?"

Jeff narrowed his eyes. Then, he pulled his shirt off and stormed out of the house. "Ucka 'Reffy mad," Becca crowed sadly. She stared at Matt with dislike in her eyes. "No likey Ucka Mattie."

Matt sighed, shaking his head. "Just like your mother." But inside he was thinking, _if Jeff just left me, how am I supposed to handle this kid on my own?_


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews! Glad everyone is getting a laugh out of this. Here is the last chapter! Enjoy!

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Minutes later, Matt watched as Becca ran around the first floor of his house without a diaper on, her laughter loud and shrieking. She seemed happy to know that Matt was losing his mind. He had always wanted kids and he thought that Amy would mother his children, but the little girl was making him wonder if he could handle it. Then again, she was related to Robin and she was a fireball of energy herself.

"Becca," Matt pleaded as she nearly knocked over a candle set he had on one of his tables, "please sit down and watch TV."

Kids liked TV, right? Why wouldn't the little girl stop running around? And, more importantly, where was her off button? She had to nap sometime, right? He watched as she ran into the kitchen and back into the living room, then back into the kitchen again. Her little feet stopped in front of the refrigerator.

"Hungry!" she declared. "BECCA EAT EAT!"

Matt smirked. At least he had one thing in common with the blonde toddler: she liked to eat.

"You're hungry?" he confirmed as the wild-eyed daughter of Robin nodded eagerly. "Potato!"

"I can do that," he mumbled thankfully. Then, he silently thanked Amy for going food shopping on their last day off and pulled out a box of instant mashed potatoes from the cabinet. Becca watched in excited awe as he mixed milk and put it in the microwave for a minute. She stared at him then, a tiny smile on her face. "That look scares me…"

"Ucka Mattie okay."

"What?"

"Becca like Ucka Mattie."

Matt put one of his muscled arms around Becca. "Well, Uncle Matt likes Becca too."

If only he knew five minutes later, he'd take it back.

It was _everywhere_. On the floor, on the walls, and even somehow, she got it on the ceiling. Of course, she was covered in it too. But something told Matt she hadn't had more than a teaspoon in her mouth. "Becca," Matt tried tiredly for the fifth time. "Please stop throwing the potatoes."

"BOOM!" the little girl yelled, taking it and throwing it on Matt.

His eyes narrowed then fell back to exhausted. "Becca…"

"Ucka Mattie no fun!"

Matt fell to the ground as Becca tossed more potatoes at the wall. If he took the potatoes away, she went back to wailing on top of her lungs. If he put them back in her grasp, more ended up on his walls and everywhere else. He couldn't win.

"I can't do this…"

"Need some help?" another voice said.

Matt peered up to see his younger brother standing in the doorway, surveying the damage done by the little girl. He smirked as he grabbed a towel and stopped in front of Becca. Immediately the potatoes fell from her hands. "UCKA "REFFY!"

"Hi, Becca," he said with a smile. "What are you doing?"

"UCKA MATTIE MEAN!"

"No, that's not true. You've been a naughty little girl, I see. What did you do?"

She smirked. "FUN!"

Jeff smiled and then took the girl from the chair she was seated in. Then, he sat her on the counter near the sink and went the towel. In ten seconds flat, the little girl was cleaned up, smiling all over.

"Why does she like you?" Matt whined.

"I don't know," Jeff mused, pulling on his hair. "But she does, so let's get this place cleaned up. Beth called me fifteen minutes ago. They'll be home in… about ten minutes."

Matt cursed, standing up. "Take the she-devil child. I'll clean this up."

Jeff smiled, picking the girl up and walking into the living room. "Becca is going to watch Barney and like it, okay Becca?"

But, Jeff didn't get an answer. Becca had already fallen asleep on his shoulder.

When Beth, Amy, and Robin arrived back at home, they were shocked to see a clean house and a sleeping toddler on the couch. Beth was most shocked. "I don't believe it," she mused. "They actually survived."

"We did," Matt agreed with an egotistical smile. "Told you."

"Yeah," Jeff added. "No problems at all."

Robin walked over to the couch, waking up Becca. She smiled at her mother before throwing her arms around the blonde woman. When Becca had been sleeping, Jeff had slipped on the dreaded diaper and you wouldn't have known she had spent the majority of the time going commando.

"I don't believe it," Beth repeated.

"Believe it," Jeff replied. "We did good and you know it." With a knowing smile, Matt and Jeff slapped hands. "The best team ever."

"Yeah," I guess so."

"FUCK!" suddenly Becca yelled.

Matt and Jeff froze.

But, Robin didn't notice. "Yes, Becca, that is a duck on the screen!" she cooed, staring at the Barney episode on the TV. On the screen was a bright pink duck. "What a smart little girl I have."

It was obvious as the two relaxed that both Amy and Beth knew she hadn't said duck, but didn't really care. And Becca was obviously annoyed that her mother thought she was saying 'duck' and not 'fuck.'

All things seemed right as Beth leaned again Jeff, smiling.

Amy came up to Matt, a smile on her face. "I didn't think you had it in you," she whispered, hugging him closely.

"You thought wrong," Matt said with the biggest grin on his face.

It was silent for a moment as all went back to normal. Then, Amy asked, "Hey, Matt, why do you smell like piss?"

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**BUSTED!! What did you think? Let me know! Hope you liked the story. :)**


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